05/03/2016

Here we are again. Another week flown by. Absolutely nothing to show for it. Getting to the point now where I’m looking at the calendar and instead of thinking what’s happening next I’m thinking am I going to make it?

I look at December with misery.

Literally nobody to talk to. Nobody to interact with. Feeling like a shadow. A ghost of sorts. Feel absolutely no reason to get up in the mornings. Feel no reason to go to bed. I have absolutely no motivation.

The only time I do anything is getting drink. The reason I fall asleep is because of the alcohol now. First thing I do in the morning and last thing I do at night. Drink.

Monday rolls around slowly and on the weekends is when I’m at my worst. Being locked inside a room for 48 hours. Nothing to do. Everybody is conveniently “busy”.

When do I get to wake up from this nightmare?  😦